


Hamburgers

by Epithode



Category: Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bat Family, Dick Grayson is Robin, Fluff and Humor, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 16:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epithode/pseuds/Epithode
Summary: A drabble for Robin Week! Young Robin, Dick Grayson, discovers Bruce’s strange hamburger eating tactics. Simple dinner time in the Wayne family fluff.





	Hamburgers

Bruce Wayne was once again absent for dinner. They often had dinner without Bruce, because Alfred insisted that Dick eat upstairs and not down in “the Batcave.” He had raised an eyebrow when Bruce had objected (grumpily) to this, and that was the end of that conversation. So it was that most of Dick’s home-grilled or home-broiled hamburgers came to him in the kitchen, while Bruce was served in the Cave. Dick tried to argue. He thought he was more successful than Bruce had been, but Alfred was simple and plain about his stance, and his stance was “no.” 

“But Bat- Bruce has his dinner in the cave!” Dick objected. 

“This in particular is not my choice. However, when you are thirty years old I shall also allow you to eat there.” Alfred said coolly. 

That day Dick was moody about this until Alfred set another hamburger across from him. He perked up. “Are we having company?” He asked hopefully. If only. This house was too big and too quite. 

“I think we just might.” Alfred replied cryptically, and then he disappeared as if whisked away by fay. Dick sighed. Another lonely day, and he was already told not to go out on patrol tonight. What was the use of being Robin if Batman just locked him in a little cage? Too dangerous this and too dangerous that- 

Dick realized with a start that Bruce had just walked in. He looked at Dick, Dick looked at him. “Hi.” 

“Hi!” 

He sat down, and Alfred supplied him with a knife and fork. What he was using a knife and fork for, Dick didn’t know. There was awkward silence for a few seconds, and then Bruce said “How was school?” 

Dick stared. Then he said, “It was good,” noncommittally. 

“What did you do today?” 

“Nothing. 

“You didn’t breathe?” Bruce countered automatically. 

Dick laughed. “Of course!” 

“What else did you do?” 

“We learned multiplication tables.” 

“You don’t sound fond.” Bruce picked up his knife and fork, and, to Dick’s amazement, speared his hamburger with the fork. He started to cut a piece of the hamburger off. 

“What are you doing?” Dick asked, laughing. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Are you cutting that hamburger?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

Dick burst into uncontrollable giggles. 

“You should also cut your food before you eat it, Master Dick.” Alfred said disapprovingly. 

Dick snorted with laugher. Bruce decided to ignore it and cut his burger. “Is this how all rich people eat hamburgers?” He’d never seen any rich people eating hamburgers, now that he thought about it. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know, Master Dick, but please eat your food.” 

“You didn’t give Dick a knife, Alfred.” 

“As you can see, Master Wayne, if I had given him a knife, he wouldn’t have used it.” 

“So how do you eat a hamburger, Dick?” Bruce challenged, not without humor. 

Dick picked his cheeseburger up with both hands and took a huge bite. Oops. A little too huge. He struggled around his mouthful unabashedly. Bruce smiled at him all the way though, and when Dick swallowed he finally took a bite of his sliced hamburger. 

“Who taught you to eat it that way?” Dick inquired curiously. 

“Alfred.” Oh. 

That was the last time Dick would bring up that topic. Alfred was studying him from the corner of the dinning room, where he was pouring drinks, just to see if he was going to say anything. The look seemed to threaten that Dick would soon be eating his hamburgers with knives and forks if he made a scene. 

“Were you working today?” Dick said instead. 

Bruce nodded, but all he said was, “Boring stuff, trust me.” 

Alfred had supplied them both with cola, which Dick took a huge gulp of to wash down his cheeseburger. Alfred sighed. “Please pace yourself,” he requested of Dick. 

Dick nodded quickly and turned his attention back to Bruce. “Like what?” 

“Like budgeting. It requires a lot of multiplication.” 

“Was that a joke?” Dick asked with a grin. 

Bruce grunted and took another bite. Dick followed suit. 

“Did you finish your homework?” Bruce asked him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Please don’t talk with your mouth full, Master Dick.” Alfred said tiredly. 

“Sorry.” 

“Alfred says you have a project.” Bruce said around a mouthful of his own. 

Alfred sighed. “And please don’t talk with your mouth full, Master Wayne.” Bruce ignored this. 

“That was last week.” 

“It was?” 

“Yes, Master Bruce.” Alfred added, more wearily still. 

Dick laughed, watching Bruce cut another piece of his burger. “Yeah,” he said, “It was an oral report for my book… uh… report…” 

“Another words for report is ‘account’” Bruce supplied. “How did it go?” 

“I got an A.” Dick shrugged as if school was a boring topic. “What were you doing in the cave?” 

“Records. More boring stuff.” Bruce said simply. 

“Sounds like you both had a boring day.” Alfred commented dryly. He couldn’t help noticing that while both parties seemed interested in hearing about one another, neither of them seemed willing to hand out information about themselves. 

“Well what were you doing all day?” Dick asked. 

“Let’s see… I woke you up and took you to school, came back and woke up Master Bruce, cleaned the kitchens, dusted the paintings and busts in the east wing, swept of course, took the package Master Bruce wanted to send to the post office, picked up our own mail, payed the bills, picked you up from school, helped with your math homework… hmm… made dinner.” 

“That sounds like a lot of work.” 

“Yes, Alfred is very busy.” Bruce replied. “I’d imagine he’s seldom bored.” 

“What does seldom mean?” 

“It means ‘not very often.’” Bruce said. “I thought you still had a project to complete. If you’re done-“ 

“I can go on patrol?” Dick jumped in. 

Bruce paused as if he was thinking better of it. Stupid, stupid! Why did he have to open his mouth? “Sure.” Yes! Dick began devouring his cheeseburger as quickly as possible. “Dick, calm down.” 

“Master Dick!” 

Dick looked up, mouth full. “I’m eating too.” Bruce reminded him. Oh, right.

“Sorry.” Dick said sheepishly. 

After dinner, patrol. After dinner. Dick grinned at Bruce from across the table. It was nice to have company, even if company was weird and ate their hamburgers with a knife and fork. “Hey, wait a minute!” 

“What?” Bruce asked, surprised at Dick’s sudden outburst. 

“How do you eat your pizza?”

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are for the strong of heart.


End file.
